How to tell new people you are sober without it being awkward
Navigating sobriety in social situations can be challenging, especially when you’re around new people in settings where drinking is the norm. You want to be honest about your lifestyle but don’t want to make it uncomfortable for yourself or others.
Here are some simple ways to tell people you’ve just met that you’re sober without making it awkward.
1. Prioritise Your Comfort First
Before sharing anything with new friends or acquaintances, take a moment to assess whether you’re comfortable. And remember — it’s perfectly fine to keep details private. Whether you’ve stopped drinking for health reasons, because you want to be more mindful, or simply because you hate the taste of alcohol, what you share is entirely up to you. Once you’ve found your comfort level, it’s easier to approach the conversation without feeling defensive or pressured.
2. Keep It Short and Simple
One of the easiest ways to avoid making a big deal of your sobriety around people you don’t know well is to mention it casually, as though it’s just another fact about you. Saying something like, “Thanks, but I’m not drinking tonight,” shows that you’re comfortable with your choice and encourages others to accept it without needing an explanation. A simple answer keeps the conversation moving without creating an awkward pause. Remember, you decide how much to share. If the conversation veers into territory that makes you uncomfortable, it’s fine to set a boundary. You could say, “I’d rather not go into details, but thanks for understanding.” Stick to what feels right for you and set clear boundaries for others to respect your decision.
3. Offer an alternative drink suggestion
If someone offers you a drink, casually respond with something like, “I’d love a soda,” or “I’m really into kombucha these days.” This shows others that you’re still part of the social experience, just with a different drink in hand. Who knows — it might even spark a light-hearted conversation about trending non-alcoholic drinks!
4. Use humour to lighten the mood
What if you’re in a social setting where drinking is expected, like a wedding reception? Simple — use humour to defuse the tension or curiosity. For example, you could say, “I’m sober these days. My liver even got me a birthday present,” or “I’ve realised my best stories don’t start with shots.” Humour is a fantastic way to show people they don’t need to feel awkward discussing your sobriety. It signals that you’re open and relaxed about it, setting the tone for a comfortable, casual conversation. Many people tend to hide their emotions when they feel scared or defensive. If you find yourself debating whether to disclose your sobriety or go home to avoid doing so and missing out on a fun night, try cracking a joke.
5. Prepare a go-to response for follow-up questions
People may ask why you don’t drink. Having a prepared, one-sentence answer can help you feel more confident. You might say, “I’ve found I just feel better and more in control without it.” Then, change the subject to keep things moving. While it’s natural for people to be curious, you don’t owe anyone a detailed explanation.
If you’re comfortable sharing more, you might find that explaining your reasons for being sober helps others understand your perspective — that sobriety is a mindful choice rather than a restriction.
Opening up about your “why” can make the interaction feel more personal, laying the foundation for building meaningful relationships. However, only do this if it feels natural and right for you. You’re under no obligation to share more than you’re comfortable with.
6. Deflect with curiosity
Sometimes, the best strategy is to acknowledge your sobriety briefly and then redirect the conversation towards the other person. This is especially useful if someone seems overly curious or keeps asking questions after you’ve disclosed your sobriety. For instance, you could say, “I don’t drink! I usually stick to a Shirley Temple and onion rings. What’s your favourite bar snack?”
Showing curiosity about others can gently steer the conversation away from potentially uncomfortable topics. It keeps the chat flowing without focusing too much on your sobriety. Plus, it helps you build connections with new friends!
7. Be prepared for reactions, and don’t take them personally
While most people will be supportive or indifferent, some may be overly curious or even unaccepting of your sobriety. This can sometimes lead to sober shaming, where your choice not to drink is questioned to make you feel ashamed for not joining in.
If someone reacts strongly to your sobriety, it’s important to remember that most of the time, it’s not about you. It’s more likely about their relationship with alcohol than your decision. Sometimes, they might need time to understand your perspective.
Own your sobriety with confidence
How you feel about your sobriety will influence how others respond. If you feel proud and confident in your choice, people are likely to reflect that back to you. Embrace your decision fully and know that it’s a powerful, positive choice for your life.
Written by Mia Barnes
Mia is a freelance writer and researcher with a passion for women’s health and wellness. Mia is also the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of the healthy living online publication, Body+Mind Magazine
