The art of saying no: How to improve your drink refusal skills
When we reach our twenties, a love/hate relationship is built with alcohol. We want to save money to put towards a house or go on holiday but we also want to enjoy ourselves with friends. Additionally, if you have multiple groups of friends who all drink, it can be difficult to say no to them when they ask if you want a drink. If you are someone who struggles with saying no to an alcoholic beverage with friends, then we can help with that.
Commit To A Plan
Before you go to see your friends and meet them in a bar, think about whether you want to have an alcoholic drink. Social pressure is the usual reason why we drink; however, if you think about not drinking when you get there, it can get your mind in the right mood for not drinking. If you still have a drink, then it isn’t the end of the world; however, you know you will drink more moderately as you weren’t intending to drink.
Understand The Two Different Types of Pressure When Drinking
You must understand the difference between direct social pressure and indirect social pressure. Direct social pressure is when one of your friends offers you a drink. Indirect social pressure doesn’t involve someone offering you a drink. It is more that you feel obliged to drink because the people around you are also drinking.
The next few times you go for a drink, make a note of whether it is direct or indirect social pressure. Then, after a few times, you can develop resistance strategies to help you say no to an alcoholic drink.
Try To Avoid Pressure
We’ve all been there at times where we are convinced we are not drinking but the people around us encourage us to drink. They don’t need to say much either, they just offer you a drink and all of a sudden, you are drinking with them. Finding the right strategies to avoid drinking is the difficult part. In some cases, the best strategy may be to avoid the whole situation altogether.
Now, we understand that people suffer from FoMo and saying no to going out with friends is the difficult part. However, this is the better solution and it is only temporary, just until you develop the right techniques and strategies to deal with saying no when people offer you alcohol.
Eventually, you will see yourself back drinking with your friends but nowhere near as much, simply because you have developed those skills and learned how to say no. Furthermore, you always suggest other activities that don’t involve drinking.
Learn How To Deal With Situations That Cannot Be Avoided
There will be times when you just cannot avoid those social situations that involve alcohol. This is where it can be difficult to say no. For example, if you are at a birthday party, a work event or even a sporting event, you know there is going to be alcohol. In these scenarios, you need to be prepared to say no to people.
Developing the skills of saying no is difficult. You need to find a friendly way of saying it without a long story of why you are saying no. Keep it short and sweet but make sure it is a firm no. The longer you are discussing why you are not drinking, the more guilt builds up and, you are more likely to give in.
Don’t be too cautious with your answer, look them in the eye and keep the response short. Don’t overthink it when you are responding. However, sometimes some people are persistent in trying to convince you to drink. This is why you must prepare for a series of “no” to them.
If you are not drinking because of health issues or to become healthier, ask your friends to encourage you to not drink alcohol, which helps you to say no.
Other Strategies To Help You Stop Drinking
There are many different strategies to help you stop drinking or at least cut down. The first strategy is mastering the art of saying no; however, you need to have backup strategies. If you are someone who struggles with saying no, then you need to have backup.
Consider Alcohol Free Drinks
A good replacement for many people is to drink non-alcoholic drinks. This is great because it makes you feel like you are drinking but in reality, you’re not. Alcoholic drinks are a great solution. It is a bit like using a nicotine substitute instead of smoking cigarettes, such as nicotine patches, nicotine gum and nicopods.
Keep A Note Of How Much You Have Drunk
If you are drinking alcohol but reducing the amount you are drinking, start taking notes on how much you are drinking. Furthermore, if you want to reduce how much you are drinking, consider delaying buying alcohol for as long as possible. This will keep you sober for a longer period of time, and you won’t have a sore head in the morning. Make a note of what you are drinking and how much you have, then review it the next day to see if you have drank less than usual.
Remember, It Is Your Life and Your Decision
We all need to understand that we have different relationships with alcohol. Some people can drink moderately and not get too drunk. Other people find it difficult and can get drunk very quickly. Other people might not wake up with a sore head in the morning and others will. Some people get hangover anxiety and others don't. We all have different experiences with alcohol and we all have different lifestyles. Once you understand that, it can help you say no because only you know how you react to alcohol.
By Lucy Couser
Lucy is a freelance writer who finished her degree in creative writing in Manchester. She loves to talk and share her experiences with alcohol, top tips and healthier fun alternatives for the sober community. You can find her substack here!
